high school sophomore to junior year can be brutal — and i definitely learned that the hard way.
there was this girl who became obsessed with 2000s pop, and one day she stumbled upon cassie's ‘long way 2 go.’ she got totally obsessed with the line: “cuz’ you know your girlfriend wanna be me...” but honestly? the very first question she ever asked me, when i was just an adolescent, was, “so, how many guys have you slept with?” i was minding my business, trying to exist as a 15-year-old — i had no interest in that drama, yet there she was, sexualizing and intruding into my life right out of the gate.
i also remember when i tried out the kogal look, a soft, light pink outfit inspired by j-fashion. i had these adorable striped legwarmers, and i put the whole thing together in a way that felt fun and stylish — yet she called me a bimbo. she even tried slut-shaming me for it, despite the fact that my outfit was nothing more than a cute, modest look. i mean, it wasn't revealing at all, but she just couldn't handle that i was confident enough to embrace a different style.
now, let’s talk about why she was a bully. a bully isn't just someone who insults you once. it's someone who consistently harasses, manipulates, and crosses boundaries. she stalked me — seriously. roblox profile, decade-old gmail account, my brother's car license plate, even asked if i used instagram just to “block” me. she tried to control the narrative, create chaos, and twist situations to her advantage.
she tried to pit me against my ex by spreading lies, accusing me of “stealing her boyfriend” when i didn't even know who she was. she used triangulation — trying to manipulate me, my ex, and herself into some non-existent love triangle. it was like she had to turn everything into a competition. she tried to get teachers to dislike me for no reason, playing the victim while i was just trying to live my life, minding my own business and refusing to engage with her toxicity.
and while she might have had a group of people around her, people who considered her "popular," there was always that undercurrent of irony. the truth is, kind people dont have to worry about what others say about them behind their backs. sure, the toxic, rude, ‘popular’ kids may have the crowd, but when youre constantly chasing attention and gossiping, you leave a trail of bitterness. people can see through that — even if they dont always speak up in the moment.
on the other hand, the kindest people often have fewer people speaking badly about them behind their back. why? because their energy speaks for itself. they aren't trying to manipulate anyone; they're just being real. so, when people talk about the “popular” kids, it's often with resentment or disdain, even if it's behind closed doors.
for weeks, she'd been bullying me, testing my patience, and constantly trying to make me feel small. she kicked me in the shin with her black converse one day, thinking she could keep pushing me around. that was when i realized i could no longer just take it. i had to assert my dominance. i hesitated for a moment, weighing whether it was worth fighting back, but after just a few seconds of her continued provocation, i finally snapped. i looked at her and said, “get closer.” the adrenaline hit, and i grabbed her flannel, pulling her down the stairs. my rage and frustration came to a head, and in that moment, i reminded her, “karma is a bitch’ — the energy you put out is always the energy you get back.
i remember one day, my bully stormed up to my desk, clearly trying to confront me, all fired up, thinking i'd engage in her drama. she started with some petty remark, and i couldn't take it anymore. i was just tired of being the target of her constant needling, so i looked her dead in the eye and said, "why would i want to be fat like you??? i'm happy with the way i am." the harassment didnt end there.
she would try to trip me in the hallways, send me those vehement, spiteful glares, and act like i was some kind of enemy when i was literally just being kind and trying to keep to myself. and the glares? intense. she was looking at me like i'd done something wrong, when in reality, i was just minding my own damn business.
then came the moment when i finally had enough. she tried to physically trip me, and i snapped back: “get your man leg away from me and watch the weight next time.” it was harsh, but she had been bullying me for years. i walked away after saying it, unbothered, because i wasnt going to let her steal my peace anymore.
in fact, she would’ve been ostracized by the 2000s social media culture because back then, people saw through the superficiality. the body-positive movement wasnt even a thing yet, and the pressure to look a certain way was massive — but that wasnt her. she wasnt that stereotypical "barbie’ body — i was the one pulling off those skinny jeans and owning that hourglass look. i didn't need to manipulate or gossip to get attention; i had it just by being me.
my bully would've quickly realized that in a world without curated filters, she wouldn't have been able to control the narrative. what’s even more ironic is that she wouldn't have fit into the 2000s social media culture at all. if she had tried to be part of that world — with myspace, facebook, and those early platforms — her toxic, self-absorbed behavior wouldn't have flown. back in the day, there was no hiding behind a curated instagram story or the kind of selective, filtered persona people put out today.
if she'd tried to create that image of being “the it girl,” she would've been exposed. she wasn't even the idealized “barbie doll” figure that the 2000s glamorized — i was. while she obsessed over controlling her image, talking about her pcos, ovarian cysts, and oversharing about iuds and hospital visits, she was just loudly seeking attention in a way that felt more about shocking people than about authentic connection. the most toxic part of her behavior wasn't just about being mean or petty; it was about her manipulation and controlling the narrative.
when she realized i wasn't playing into her games, she escalated — but i kept my composure. i wasn't about to let her define who i was, or let her convince others i was the villain. to my ex: you sent an unwanted bully my way and refused to believe me. that's on you. but you know what? i learned more about my strength, independence, and resilience than i ever would've by staying in that toxic space. i dont need your validation. the real power is letting go of people who can't respect your truth.
people started speaking up about how much she had played both sides, tried to manipulate everyone around her, and create unnecessary drama. finally, i wasn't alone in seeing her for what she was. and in that moment, i realized that authenticity always wins. she spent so much energy trying to manipulate people, while i just focused on being myself. i didn't need to play any games. i let the truth speak for itself, and it did.
mean-girl behavior doesn't last. real strength does. now, let's get into the glow-up. i was the true 2000s girl — you know, rocking skinny jeans, having that hourglass figure, and owning the whole vibe. she spent her time chasing guys, making drama, and trying to get attention. meanwhile, i just was. i didn't need to fight for a label or prove anything to anyone. i was already living that it girl lifestyle in real life. i didn’t need to be fake or toxic to be noticed. i was already glowing on my own.
bullies, drama, and toxic people might seem powerful in the moment, but they fade. the girls who stay rooted in self-respect, kindness, boundaries, and confidence? those are the ones who actually glow up in real life. it wasnt just about surviving toxic relationships or the petty games. it was about fighting for myself in a world that constantly tried to tell me i wasn't enough, wasn't worthy of respect, or wasnt allowed to be exactly who i was.
i lost a lot during that time. i lost myself, my sense of freedom, and even parts of my creativity and expression. but i came back stronger. because once you realize how much you've lost, you fight harder to reclaim it all. the bullying was just one piece of the puzzle. the bigger picture was about getting my autonomy back — finding my voice again, finding my talents that were buried under shame and manipulation, and owning who i am with pride.
even when everything felt lost, i fought to regain that control over my life. to reclaim my sense of self was a battle in and of itself, but i had no choice. it was either i let the world swallow me whole, or i stood up for everything i had to offer. be kind. stay true to yourself. don't pick petty fights. and never let anyone — mean girl, ex, or stalker — convince you that shrinking yourself is an option.
takeaways: dont engage in petty drama; people who live authentically always shine brighter than those who seek validation through manipulation. set boundaries and stick to them — dont let anyone cross your lines, no matter how much they try to manipulate you. bullies cant take your peace unless you let them; stand your ground, and be unbothered.
end note: cassie's always been said to be beautiful, but there’s always been a certain sadness behind her eyes, too. i doubt she'd support any of this mean-spirited behavior, because she knows what it feels like to be judged and objectified. she would not condone my bully's immature & prolonged harrassment. instead of genuinely loving cassie's artistry, my bully just wanted to use cassie's appearance to reflect her own desire for validation. she never appreciated cassie for who she was as a person or artist. in a way, she indirectly bullied cassie by reducing her to a symbol of vanity — a reflection of the image my bully wanted to project, not the artist with her own struggles and identity.
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